Listening to Your Holiday Heart

Let's stay healthy by honouring ourselves in this busy time of year.

I have found a way to stay healthy over the holiday season that works for me. I stay healthy when I listen to my internal "GRRRR". You know the one? It's the UGGGHHH I don't want to do that but here I am doing that anyway! Look at me go in my resentment and crabbiness; but I am doing it!

I try always to listen to this GRRR. This GRRR is where a boundary needs to be placed. I know. I know. Boundaries are so hard, and where do they go? They go at the line of the GRRR! If I cannot do something gracefully, I don't do it. This doesn't make me a jerk as I am generally a kind person. What it does do is make me honour myself and listen to the little person inside who has needs too. The person that I have ignored much of my life and when I do this I don't feel resentful, tired or "put upon". I feel more energetic, excited and joyful in this season.

Let me give you an example (and I will use my poor mother here). If my mother said to me "Oh my. Susan's cousin's son's neighbour's cat died we should make chicken and muffins and pay her a visit" I would feel the grrr bubble up inside. . . ugh now what. . . another obligation. . . and so I would look at that whole expectation or request and think, "Is there any part of this that I want to do or that I can do gracefully?"

The answer may be none at this time and that is okay. It wasn't mine to help or fix in the first place. The answer could be well. . . I don't want to make chicken, my muffins are terrible, I don't know this person and so a visit would be painful, BUT. . . I could drive my mother over to the house. I could do that. I am not going in and I would stipulate these boundaries to my mother and she can take it or leave it. If she does take the boundaries and takes the drive she will feel supported and I will feel I honoured myself, not begrudging my time. Knowing I can't control her -only myself- she could respond with guilt (she is very accomplished at this) but I have now set my boundaries, I feel good about where they sit. It is up to me to not pick up that guilt that she could/might/will for sure throw down. The reason she uses guilt now? This is how she gets her needs met and it has worked in the past. :)

For the holiday season

When I think of all of the engagements coming this month and the expectations placed on us by society, friends, family and OURSELVES, I get a little "wigged out". Some of these things excite me. I love the lights and the Christmas trees, I love the carols. I actually love the get togethers (I know this is a groan for some of us :)

What I do not love is the prep and my aunt saying " Well I have to have my turkey dinner. When will I get my turkey dinner if we have steak?" I do not love the turkey making! I am 52 years old! I don't want to eat more turkey!

I don't love the amount of alcohol that some in the family consume or their need of bar service as they continue to swig it down. I don't like feeling like a maid. In fact I don't want to host at all.

Now that my kids are older I am very comfortable not doing stockings! I am not a "fussy shopper". I don't have the patience to buy 50 things from 50 different stores for stockings!

So, this is how I navigate the expectations of the season; I use my grrr factor.

I won't host dinner. Table settings do not float my boat. I will bring anything, cook most things (not adept at dessert and not making turkey) that you request if you are hosting and my mother LOVES to host! I will give anyone a bed if they need it. First come. First served.

I will buy anything that strikes my fancy for the kids, mostly online stuff as I don't like going in the shops. I won't do stockings but I do sometimes give them a tiny package on the tree that is opened after dinner. One thing. One store.

I will serve the first drink at Mother's but if you hold your glass up and shake it at me for your second drink you are going to get the bottle plunked down beside you.

I will honour a gift exchange but I will still buy the things I like, usually in a sort of theme like "best picks of 2023", everybody needs one!

I won't stay all day but I will pitch in with whatever is needed. I will even clean the turkey pan if you decide to cook one!

Follow me to learn how to take the GRRR out of Christmas!

Love and Health to you, Robin.

Happy Holidays from The Hypnosis Healers!